Lavatory Literature

One ungodly hour last week, my big brother, the biggest man in the house, was running around the house, short of breath and panicking. He couldn’t find the latest newspaper and he’s in dire need of using the toilet already. He needed to poop but couldn’t because he didn’t have anything to read. It was a painful situation; a somatic dilemma of sorts.

It runs in the family. Say one thing about Johnny Cursive, say that he can’t do the number 2 without having something to read.

I’d read the papers and magazine back-issues while seated. Running out of material, I’d grab the nearest shampoo bottle and read through how it reduces hair damage by up to 50 percent. I would hmmm, nod and be impressed, even if it’s trivial and I get a buzz cut every 2 weeks. Running out of shampoo bottles, I’d grab the toothpaste and then the remaining toiletries. That is how I have learned that the average facial wash has the exact same components as the regular feminine wash. I ran out of facial cleanser one time. Heedless to say, the PH balance of the feminine wash invigorated the flora of my face. I felt rather blooming that day.

I’ve been reading Jessica Zafra as my lavatory literature. I’ve just finished reading Twisted 8 ½. I wasn’t that impressed, not of the writing but of the subject. The book is a compilation of her tech product reviews, and I reckon those were from a couple of years ago. With the speed that technology becomes obsolete, the book felt like reading about the next garage sale. That's OK though, because it still falls under good lavatory literature -- light, amusing and just about cathartic.

My current Lavatory Literature:

From Wikipedia:

Strauss stumbles across the community while working on an article[1], intrigued by the subculture, he starts participating in the online discussion groups, mainly out of his own frustration with his romantic life. As he becomes more and more involved in the Seduction Community, Strauss attends a "Bootcamp" conducted by Mystery, one of the most influential and respected members of the community. The bootcamp consists of Strauss and other participants approaching women and then Mystery and his counterpart Sin giving them corrective advice on their behaviors, body language, and what to say after viewing the participants approach women.

The book then narrates the journey of how Strauss goes through the various stages of becoming a Pickup artist, Description about the various members of the community and how Strauss befriends many of the members, particularly Mystery. He also narrates his success with women,the spreading of the seduction community itself and his life at "Project Hollywood", a high end mansion and a lifestyle plan shared by Strauss, Mystery, Papa, Tyler Durden, Herbal, and other members of the Seduction community. And how rivalries and animosity between various members of the community lead to "Project Hollywood's" collapse.

This book is highly entertaining. I don't think this is 100% applicable for faeries, but it doesn't matter because faeries get it easier than straight men by default.

"The Game" is just like a good laxative.  

6 coumouents:

Manech said...

"Heedless to say, the PH balance of the feminine wash invigorated the flora of my face. I felt rather blooming that day."

Oooh. Pink cheeks. Love it. :)

Johnny Cursive said...

'cept I got brown skin =P

Eternal Wanderer... said...

my classmate in hs, the myopic that he is, accidentally used the feminine wash of his mom to lather up his face.

needless to say, the next day, he started sprouting pubic hair for bigote.


Galen said...

Try putting anything readable in our bathroom and for sure, it would be all wet the following morning. Pasend naman email mo pogi. Thanks thanks!

rudeboy said...

Aw, I don't read on the can anymore. I either just leaf through yet another nude photography book or go price-checking with Car Finder.

the geek said...

me too...i cannot survive the pope's throne without something to read. hahaha