Johnny is Davao Rock God

But not until March. Also, I’m still waiting for promos to get the cheapest ticket rates I can get. Where the fuck are the promos when I need em?


That’s because I’m a non-bisaya speaking half-Davaoeňo with approximately 50 first cousins that I haven’t met yet. Last time I visited I got showered with gifts and fed with the best mead and meat. My aunts and uncles competed with one another with the food they served in their respective houses. Every night was a feast. Relatives competed for the attention. My cousins took me out at night to crowded bars where my crotch area was constantly in contact with something or someone. My cousins speak the most conyo-sounding bisaya I’ve ever heard. The morning half hour travel towards any direction brought me to the beach or the mountains. And there were 90-peso buffets everywhere.

I always wondered what my cousins in Davao would be like, because I always wondered why I never had anything in common with my cousins in Luzon. When I met 2 of my cousins and learned that they pretended to murder each other with a knife for the sake of scaring the poor housemaids, I felt profoundly at home.

What I should never ever forget is the day I shook hands and shared a few drinks with one of the infamous Davao City Hitmen. DDS or Davao Death Squad, they're called. 3 years ago my late father introduced me to the hitman and told me how many he's killed. DDS is no urban myth. Shaking hands with a cold-blooded Davao killer could have been cool in theory but that might have been too dark for my taste. I'm not prejudiced, but I think I'll allow myself make an exception sometimes.


Mandaya Woman from Davao Oriental. Drawn in Manila on a good day last year. Still havent drawn the right foot until now. I still can't. I wonder what that says about me.

16 coumouents:

Herbs D. said...

what? 90-peso buffets everywhere?

mmm. i wonder what davao looks like. a lover of mine moved their late last year so it'd be really great to check that place out someday. lol. and with those cheap buffets they offer, take me the next time you go there!

it'd be like killing two birds with one stone. no pun.

engel said...

never been to davao. but i did hear alot of good things (and not so good) about the place.

but what my friend mostly brags about that province is that it's really beautiful there.

i'm pretty sure, even if we don't wish it, you'll enjoy your stay there. =D

wanderingcommuter said...

dont tell me you drew this too? tatambling na ako, kapag oo!

hahahaha! ayus sa mga pinsan ah. sana ganyan din ako kapag umuuwi sa probinsiya! kulang na lang combo banda na sasalubong. hahahaha!

the geek said...

you draw? hala, ang ganda!!!

i miss davao!!!!!!!

citybuoy said...

my mom's from davao. she has nothing but good words for the place although i think she forgot to tell me about the crotch-grabbing. haha

Darc Diarist said...

oo nga, the sketch is great!
and davao is equally great!!! :)

thecuriouscat said...

uy masaya sa Davao haha, mag eenjoy ka dun haha

oi if you want to hang out sa locals may kilala ako haha

may promo na 888 ang cebu pacific pa davao from manila

paci said...

so it will be WOW DAVAO! for you then! great!
i recall jessic zafra's comment on davao..hmmmm but that was a long time ago. re: tonsillectomies with music (not sure about the title, memory lapse)

Johnny Cursive said...

The food is great there, but I guess that's because my Davao relatives are all foodies and knew what to cook or where to take me.

Thanks for the comments on the sketch! It's my other form of cursive. Writing and drawing go together for me.

Updated my post with new Davao info. I can't believe I forgot to include how I shook hands with one of mayor's hitmen. Panalo yun!

Wah I must check out that cebu pac promo asap waaaah

lee said...

you'll definitely enjoy the "rurban" (rural-urban) lifestyle of davao. daming pwedeng puntahan at gawin.

and the food's great. and cheap =D

hmmmm DDS - no comment =D

Mr. Pink Tie said...

50 first cousins huh? what a big clan you have haha.

Galen said...

Suddenly I miss Davao.

But I want to see Cebu first.

Yj said...

i lived in Davao for three months back in 2001... for sure, madami ng nagbago pero sana buhay pa ang Collasa's... ang sarap kumain dun ng barbeque.... :)

ang saya naman ng laro ng mga pinsan mo, parang gusto ko makipag laro sa kanila, habulang-gahasa.... :)

iurico said...

yeah, heard a lot about the DDS in Davao too.

and oh, except for the foot, you really have a keen eye for details - very impressive!

Sonia said...

hi, i just wandered on in here, Johnny. Your posts are very entertaining and...meaty, and yeah, your sketch rocks. :-) Have a nice day!

Johnny Cursive said...

FEMALE!!! oh sorry. I just got carried away =)

Thanks, Sonia!