Campus Pre-Coitus: Where it began for Johnny

I had a reunion last Saturday with my GH high school tropa and their respective girlfriends. I wasn’t able to bring my wonderful boyfriend because last time I checked, he wasn’t a girl.

I have always enjoyed the company of my straight friends with our signature no-holds-barred, uncensored and unadulterated all-male harutan that the girlfriends couldn’t do anything about. I’ve been in that school since kinder, so that makes it 13 years with rowdy male classmates with too much testosterone for their own good.

LSGH: fun times, good friends & lots of cute boys

School was fantastic. Fist fights were rampant but easily resolved by a common love for the almighty Hustler magazine. There’s too much male competition and most boys had no choice but to be sporty. I drifted to soccer for a couple of years in grade school and then martial arts for another couple of years in high school. The most popular boys were the basketball jocks, followed by the track & field boys. The track & field boys were hotter. Those in wall climbing and swimming seemed to have a world of their own; only the parents cheered for them. Volleyball, of course, was 90% faeries. They had their wings early. In the spirit of healthy competition as the apotheosis of man’s quest for excellence, there would also be a jackoff race to see who gets to shoot their load first. These events would happen in sleepovers and never in school premises. It doesn’t happen like it does in the Fratpad website; in our version, it’s just one dude in the CR and the action is timed until he steps out with the evidence on his hand. But sigh—I didn’t get to join any such race. “Sayang Johnny di ka sumama ang galing ni Aquino 2 minutes lang tapos na.” 5 cute boys in a race? Had I joined, I would have been done in 10 seconds or less.

I also always looked forward to swimming class. One great thing about swimming class was that board shorts were not allowed. We were all required to wear Speedos, including the coach. Every year, there would be a different hot coach in a Speedo. LSGH only hires hot coaches. Blame it on the La Salle Brothers. Once in a while there would be a classmate with the unfortunate hard-on in his banana hammock. He’d get teased for the rest of the day. My good friend Marco always got teased that he kept getting the stiffy every swimming class, but the truth was, his was just a big schublig. And he had to prove it to save face and gain a few secret fans.

My school always had dry humpers. Sometimes someone would thrust behind you while you buy tacos in the cafeteria. The worse happens when someone gets dominated, pinned face-first on a wall and then feel someone’s bulge on his ass, or similarly pseudo-raped on his bunk bed while on a retreat. It’s guaranteed to piss a lot of boys off, hence the popularity of the method. One thing’s for sure though: I wasn’t too annoyed with it. When someone does it to me, I'd throw a few requisite cussing while smiling with fulfillment deep inside. Then I'll punch the cute bastard on the shoulder. Not too hard, lest he never does it again. I'm just so glad only the cute and semi-cute ones do it because they're the only ones who could get away with it.

Just like Chino. Chino was a dry humper. He was a Candymag cutie and one of the 69 Cosmo bachelors when we were in college. He’s also quintessentially straight and with an overdeveloped libido, like Stiffler. And he’d always jokingly pinch a nipple or dry hump a katropa. When I told him about me, he’s remained a gracious true friend and kept my secret safe. However, he wouldn’t dry hump me anymore. Sometimes he’d forget that I’m a faerie whenever he kids around. Then I would jokingly hump him, he'd realize that I could possibly enjoy it, and he turns pale while running for cover.

Being one of the boys in an all-boys school had its perks. It was a lot tougher for the effeminate faeries, unfortunately.